Friday, March 26, 2010

Clubbin: The Mini Series Pt. 3 "You don't know nann"

We can't talk about the club, at least I can't, without ranting, I mean talking about how women are approached there. It is truly amazing how many men (especially black men) that don't know how to approach women. And its utterly amazing the number of women (especially black women) that don't know how they should be approached. Just a hint, anything that can be found in "Nann Nigga" is a FAIL.

For a dance:
DO NOT grab my arm, gawk at me for 2 minutes as if I'm on an auction block, and then after nodding your approval try to place my body on your penis.

DO NOT continue to pull my arm after I've tried to withdraw it. I'm CLEARLY not interested.

Just ask me for a dance. It's quite simple.

When trying to get my attention:
DO NOT hiss, cluck, bark at me. Sir I'm not animal.

DO NOT make up a nickname for me (i.e. Legs,, Dimples, Curly Head, etc.). It's corny.

DO NOT refer to me by the article of clothing I'm wearing. You don't know how many girls I've seen respond to "Ay red jacket!!!!!" Ugh. Grow up. Both of you.

DO NOT compare me to my friends in your attempt to compliment me. Thats lame and disrespectful.

Simply put "Hi, how are you?" or even ""How you doin?" will save you everytime. Just say that first. Even if I reject you at least you'll still have my respect.

If rejected:
DO NOT insult my friend because she intervened in your wack game. She knows the drill. You don't.

DO NOT flip the script then try to berate me. You clearly wanted some of my time a minute ago but now I'm a ho? No. You're salty.

DO NOT try to talk to my friend. She not "goin" now. Idiot. NOTE: Ladies if your friend does "go" have a talk with her. IMMEDIATELY.)

Sometimes I wonder if these clowns will ever get it.

Clubbin: The Mini Series Pt. 2 "No Homo?"

DISCLAIMER: I do not usually use the term "no homo" as I feel it alienates members of the the LGBTQI community. But I felt as though it was a catchy title for the post. Sue me.

So ladies, it's time to go out. You already know what that means. An hour (or 3) long ritual of applying make-up, doing hair, bringing out the freakiest freakum dresses and the loudest fuck me pumps. We all know the club is the place to go to strut your stuff... But for who?

Recent dialogues I've had with men and women on the"club experience" have shed some light on the type of presentation women prepare for the club. And it seems as though these elaborate and perfected displays of beauty and swag are done, not to gain the attention of men, but in an attempt to gain the approval of other women. The "show" that women put on when they show up and show out is really an attempt to impress and outdo other women.

SO of course I took this idea to the streets, and sure enough, most men noted that they rarely even remembered what a woman at the club had on. Even if they talked to her. They were much interested in her physical appearance. EVEN if they complimented the woman on her outfit, they wouldn't be able to describe it the next day. On the rare occasions they could remember what a woman was wearing, it was because she was wearing next to nothing.

Talking to, accompanying, and being a woman, I know for a fact that we critique other women in the club more than we would any male we're interested in. And when we are getting ready for a night out, we know that other women are going to be there critiquing us as well. They are going to come hard, so we have to come harder, at least on a basic level. Nothing can be out of place. And it's always best to get an "OK" from your girls before you leave.

The bottom line is that when it comes to the club, while men prefer to use rulers of comfort and personal preference to measure their status of appearance, women use each other. I have yet to pinpoint a concrete reason for this. Is it the result of our societal beauty standards that puts most of its pressure on women? Is it the slimming eligible male to female ratio? I don't know. But it's the way things are.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Clubbin: The Mini Series Pt.1 "Clubbin Aint Dead Mogs Just Scared"

It's hard to find a decent club in Chicago these days. Now I know that there are some people that just like getting dolled up and going out, so they don't care what venue it is. But I know for me, it takes a certain atmosphere for me to thoroughly enjoy myself. A certain amount of liquor will usually do the trick, too, but who wants to get pissy drunk when you look so cute?

The most important element of any club is the music. This plays a MAJOR part in how much fun I am able to have. I like really upbeat, urban (NO TECHNO and not techno remixes of urban songs!) club bangers. DUH right? It's a club. But here is where the first source of conflict arises. See... clubs that cater to this genre also usually cater to patrons... thinking of a way to say this nicely... patrons that are... well, urban "club bangers" if you catch my drift. Think Zentra and Krush. These type of places are targeted towards a younger 18+ crowd (even though you can bet on a few men way too old to be there) and are usually heavily saturated with Coogi dresses, LRG 'fits, and gym shoes (on men AND women, the horror). I prefer a club that is, in a nutshell, a little less hood.

And when it comes to men, I definitely prefer older crowds (late 20's, early 30's they're usually more financially stable and mature). Think Shrine on 21st and Wabash. But at these places you have to listen to all of Jay-Z's hits BEFORE the year 2000. And yea Rakim is fine... as hell, but I don't want to listen to his music either while I'm trying to shake my ass in 2010! And I'm sorry but Common just does not hit the spot on a dance floor....

And speaking of dance floors, can you really call it that when its so crowded that you can't move? I don;t think so...

And there's the fact that you sometimes never know what you're walking into because it all depends on the promoter.

My solution? Drinks. And lounges. Lounges always make for a nice crowd, but not a ridiculous, to capacity crowd. There is always a diverse turnout, and you can usually predict the music so there are no surprises.Funk and J Bar are a few that stand out.

Anyway, glad that's off my chest. Pt. 2 Coming soon!!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Quote of the Day

"Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it will elude you. But if you put your attention on other things, it will land softly on your shoulder."

Don't chase what should come natural.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Bad Bitch "Dress Up"

SO I have been meaning to write this for a while now. I've mentioned before that us bad bitches have to be careful of the girls running around here playing bad bitch "dress up". So what exactly is this? Its where a strag, or some other typical bitch tries to emulate or imitate a real bad bitch. They can usually fool other strags and basic bitches into believing that the person in question is certified, but it takes a bad bitch to know the difference. Here are some of the easiest ways to spot a bitch playing "dress up".

- She say she bad, but to prove it all she does to prove it is count the ways she's better than other women. She obviously knows nothing about our bylaws.
-She say she bad because she's cute/has a nice body. What else?
-She say she bad, and to prove it she shows off her Coach shoes. I need to get this off my chest COACH IS NOT HIGH END FASHION!!!! When your wardrobe consists of shoes that cost more than $500 (on the cheap end of things), then you might be on to something.

Yves Saint Laurent Bag = high fashion

Coach bag = NOT high fashion

-She say she bad but is always in the middle of drama. This is like an oxymoron or something.
-She say she bad but she's an attention whore. Bad bitches are noticed, they don't seek attention.
-She say she bad, but she doesn't read Point proven

More shit coming soon! (And I figured since I've already been flagged as an "adult content" based on the title, my profanity censor can have a rest. So until next time... BITCHES!)

Monday, March 15, 2010


So I've known this chick for so long. Sometimes I wonder if she'll ever change... I doubt it. But I think that's what I like about her. This girl has absolutely NO problems being herself, even as that self changes and evolves, with no explanations needed.
What makes you a bad bitch?I'm bad because first of all I am self-assured and confident. I know I can do anything thru Him. I am intelligent and always thirsting for more. I am a good friend, sister, daughter, etc. I encourage and love people. and most imoportantly i am only living for and out to please myself. IT's all about me and im not worried about no1 else opinion.

Bad bitch(es) that inspired you
My mother and grandmother...u know how close we are. they both inspire me to be better everyday. I love love love Lauryn hill, michelle obama, maya angelou, and tyra banks.

How can you spot a bad bitch when you see one?
It's all in their aura. a bad b* will exude an unmistakable confidence. she will walk in a room and command attention-cliche? she will be beautiful-in a unique way. her head will always be high and she will not settle for wat she does not want,

A bad bitch always/never...
always: smile, encourage others, look depart, work hard, on top of thing...
never: succumb to the insufficiencies of their inferiors.

Jojo has finally joined us in the blogger world!! Check out the world as she sees it in To Each Her Own

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

How to deal with a strag... if you must

When it comes to strags, all bad bitches know who's winning. And to be honest, most of the strags know it too. But that doesn't change the fact that some strags will still try to prove the opposite to be true and think that they will win going toe to toe with a bad bitch. So... what do you do? Here are some quick tips to remind him/her (yes strags can be males) to remind them of their place...

-Stay on your shit... and then tell them to hate on that. This is most effective for strags in professional settings that want to undermine your work/ethic.

-Ignore whatever attempted shot at you they just took... If this isn't enough and they now want to cause a scene to get your attention (which most strags will do), say "I'm sorry, did you say something?" This is also effective for persistent strags that try to get your romantic attention after you've already tried to decline nicely.

-Most bad bitches can list at least a few of their baddest traits off the top of their heads (if you can't... well you might be playing bad bitch "dress up" will post on this later). Anyway, be able to spit this list in 20 seconds or less and add "bitch please" at the end. It'll take them a while to come back from that one. Feel free to walk away now.

-Fake a really concerned look (I know, this one's hard), get out a pen and paper, write and hand it to them. There is help for strags lol

-Flip your hair, laugh, and if possible, walk away... in any order. This method will almost always work for any type of strag.

The point is that strags aren't worth your time. But if they absolutely insist on getting some of it. It should be at minimal amounts and only to remind them that you win and they lose.

NOTE: I do not condone violence of any kind, BUT... If a strag attempts to start a physical altercation with you... know how to throw them hands.