Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Trying not to be "that" chick...

Again I took another break from blogging. After Hoes: The Mini Series I almost felt as though I had outdone myself. It was a relief to get that bit of honesty off my chest. I've noticed with this blog that it can sometimes be a struggle to make my position clear. I am not writing from the position of "the baddest" teaching people how to be bad. The reality is that I am bad, and this is how I think about the world and the best to operate within it, even on the occasions when I'm not necessarily following the manual. In case you can't tell, I do not follow guidelines set forth by anyone other than myself. And that right there is how I've avoided becoming "that" girl.

Now this is not a post about strags. The women I'm talking about are not strags, exactly. These are just women that... ::trying to find the words:: go with the program. They say what they think sounds right. Even when it contradicts there own actions and feelings. They abide by social codes and cues, meaning that their presentation is usually on point. They invest in their appearance, they go to school and/or have a successful career, they do what's right for the most part. They say they're confident and they might be, but in a just satisfied type of way and only because they get messages all around them that say that the ideal woman is "CONFIDENT and SEXY".

But when you ask this woman what her passion is she might draw a blank. When you observe her in relationships (which she is probably always in because where she's from, you ain't shit unless you got a man remember? So she's rarely single) the confident woman from a moment ago vanishes. She is likely to have issues with women, or certain type of women (like let's say "hoes"). She says things and you can tell she just says it because she thinks it sounds good. Fellas you've probably met a couple of "those" chicks before. You know, she fine as hell, and she's not stupid because she has the degree/good job or whatever, but you just can't figure out why after a couple of weeks she was so uninteresting.

The answer? It's because she lacks substance. I think that it can be very easy to become "that" chick when you are consumed by so many messages that guide you on what it means to be you. When you only respond to social cues and codes, as opposed to developing your own conditions and lifestyle based on your own experiences and emotions, you become a pretty ass empty shell. Nothing really sets you apart, there is no uniqueness or individuality. Creativity is an unknown condition and inspiration comes from... well, I have no clue.

Sometimes I have to take breaks from this blog to make sure that I am living up to its purpose by not just being one of "those" girls that just SAY they're bad without really attempting to take the title to another level.

And on that note I think this is a perfect opportunity for those who haven't to check out the bylaws.