Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Someone asked me what I "expected" today...

I expect you to be passionate about me. You don't even have to love me right away. Just want me in your life, indefinitely, and be sure about it. Find me interesting and learn about me. Dedicate some time, as much as you can, to me. Respect me. Organize people around me. Help me heal, help me grow; or at least want to, that's a start.

I'll do the same for you.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Entitled: Loose Ends

Connect me
Draw a line
From point A to B
From you, him, her
to me.

Light me up
Guide me home
Give me life
Let me BE.

I crave chemistry
I want to be touched
I have to feel
I need to be real.

Connect me.


Sometimes, not often, it helps me to be indirect. Don't judge. I've been losing my knack for socializing.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Letting Go.....

For those of you who can't tell, I'm on a journey. Its been beautiful. Creating happiness and peace for myself and learning to love has been amazing. Its like I have this big crush on myself. I'm smitten and I've been aching to know everything about myself. I'm totally courting/dating myself lol. Its been painful, its been hard, its been beautiful, and its been real. I've been learning and UNlearning at a rate I've never experienced. I've had the help of some really dope people and some really bad bitches. But I can't front. I've had to let some people/things go, too.

I think we hear people say "let it go" a lot. Although "it" in the term can CERTAINLY be accurate, I think that what people usually mean is let "he/she/them" go. But of course they don't say that. Erykah Badu tweeted that "we are in a world where LOYALTY has taken the place of LOVE." Aint that the truth? At the expense of our health, sanity, wholeness, peace, happiness, and LIVES we remain loyal to those who are bad for us. And as Erykah said, "it is that simple". I'm no exception. It took a commitment to myself, out of this new love, to get me to step away from the negativity that could not seem to find a welcome home in m cypher (circle/life). There are a lot of reasons we choose to stick around. Time, guilt, entitlement, obligation, etc. But at the end of the day, if the shit is bad for you, it's bad. And I don't mean bad because its hitting your pockets hard or taking too much of your time, or requiring you to face some unsettling truths (sometimes we need that). What I'm talking about is a toxin, an element of your life that is killing your spirit, blocking the path to peace, putting you in danger, denying your greatness, stopping your success, and/or draining the life from you.

Be honest with yourself about what the person/thing is doing to you. And if it's bad, it needs to become good, or GO. It's that simple. It doesn't matter that it/he/she was once good (they aren't NOW). It doesn't matter that they've been around for X amount of time (appreciate the good times, learn from it, move on/up. And if there were no good times, count it as a loss, learn from it, move on/up). It doesn't matter that you love them (do they love you? And you can love someone from afar). It doesn't matter that it will hurt them/you to leave (its hurting you now). It doesn't matter that you need them (you don't). You have to be able to overlook these things and see YOURSELF, your better SELF. And in that way, it is not only NECESSARY to let go, but its SO liberating. You change your energy, you change your life.

So whether it's an abusive partner, a negative friend, negative thinking, a draining job, a terrible habit, a discouraging family member, or whatever. Get up, get your shit, and leave. Let it go. And once you accomplish it once and reap the benefits, it makes it that much easier to clear out everything else in the way, too. I did.

Sunday, April 10, 2011